Prayer for friends and to belong somewhere
I am feeling so lonely all the time. I am 26 years old, I am tired of being lonely. I never find good friends. I have studied many places, I have been singing in choir, tried to be in student group etc.
I never laugh, and am really happy. I am maybe smiling much, but not inside. I dont like to live, just go to work, eat and sleep.
Its no point that God has created me. I know he loves me and everyone. But I can't feel it.
I have allways gone to church every sunday, and while I was studying I nearly whent everyday. I still do at sundays, but now the only thing I see foreword to is to eat my daily chocolate and candy.
But since I have been studying, and specially now I eat so much, everyday. It's not good I know, but I have to have something to look forward to in everyday life.
And I hate weekends, specially saturday nights, everyone is going out and have fun.
Why do I never find a group of just some really good friends. I hate to be so lonely, its not that I can't be alone sometimes, that's good, but allways is not good.
I hate my birthdays, and I allways dread to new years eve, i know everyone is having fun, and all of my sibling do is out somewhere with friends.
I am alone home with my parents, I hate the national day when everyone are dressing up eating, meeting, party, etc.
I am alone home, I have no friends to be with. I just hate days like that. I pray to God to find friends, but now I have given up, I am soon 27 and I don't think I am going to get friends now anymore.
I have been at college, musicschool, study for too long time (because I was allways hoping to find some friends if I study more, even if I don't need, because I have an education and can get a job, but I wanted to study more because I hoped to find friends, but instead I just loose money because I study) I have done everything, I am not going to get friends anymore.
I have lost every hope.
Maybe God will tell me something, or did he want me to be so lonely and sad all the time. I taught God made Eve because it was not good for human being like Adam to be alone. But maybe God don't care anymore, look at the hungry people etc.
I have lot of food, some place to sleep and stay but somrene have nothing, I don't understand this world, and Its so difficult to pray now, I cant believe that God will do anything for me, when he don't do anything about the starving people.
Please help me, answer me, I need to hear some good words, I am thinking about this all the time.