Dear Lord I need your guidance and your help as soon as possible
by Patricia Ann Gabaldon
(Espanola, NM USA)
Dear God, I need You right now. I pray that you can hear me and intervene into my husband's and my life right now. We both need jobs as soon as possible to help us keep our home, to have light, water, electricity, and gas, to pay our car and the insurance so that we can keep it too.
Also, I need help for when I make irrational decisions when I get upset. I get frustrated with my husband because I feel like I cannot read him because I do not feel that he expresses himself to me. But he will with others and I want him have you in his life and go to Church to hear the word of the Lord, but he refuses to.
I get upset because I want a good life with my husband, with him being the man of the house, living in your word and walking in your faith. I feel that as much as I try to help him stay away from other girls, drinking, drugs, negative people, negative things, evil people, evil things, and to work to help pay the bills, cook and clean instead of me feeling over whelmed that I do it all while he stays home, goes and comes as he pleases, spends money as he wants and so much more.
It hurts my feelings and causes me to do irrational things that I end up regretting. I am sad because he does not even pay attention to me anymore, and my feelings are hurt because when he came home the other morning he had a hickey on his chest and he denies it.
Lord I want to restore my marriage with my husband and live a good life with him. I feel like a failure Lord. Not only as a wife but as a daughter, sister, parent and a person in general.
I pray that I will get approved my unemployment as soon as possible and my husband will get his check from school as soon as possible so that we can pay our bills and get back on our feet.
I called my old job to see if I can get my job back but I do not think that is going to happen. I interviewed for the job with the MVD in Santa Fe, NM but I did not get it.
I interviewed for the job in Roswell, NM, cal; led yesterday to follow up and was told to call back next week. I really hope to either get my job back or get the job in Roswell, NM because then we can move away from all of these people here in Espanola, NM. So my husband cannot know anyone and will hopefully take our marriage more seriously.
He is undecided if he wants me or not and that hurts God. Now he feels as I am worthless to him after everything I have ever done for him and his children. It may not be much for the girls but I do more for his son because he lives with us.
My daughter Angel Marie passed away and I know that you are taking great care of her but I wish that I can see her one day. I want kids of my own with my husband but I do not understand why you will not bless us and our marriage with children from each other.
It hurts because I want to be a mom, a good mom to my own biological children because his children do not care about me or love me like I wish they would. I need your help with my insecurity issues, jealousy, hurt, anger, depression, anxiety, and our health.
God, I have hep C and so does my husband and I cannot believe he still wants to leave knowing what we are both going through together. God, please help me as soon as possible. Please God help me keep my husband and for everything to get better for us.
I have also been trying to call Tina who has the gift of sight to pray with her over the phone and maybe get answers from You for what I need to do but I cannot get in contact with her. Please God our heavenly father, please hear my petitions and answer my prayers as soon as possible.
Please Lord do not let me go through all of this alone. I really need you.